Just when you think you have a handle on something, leave it to life to throw you a curve ball. Something happened on Monday initially made me rethink my mindset when it comes to having kids. I have to give it to parents. They’re the true MVPs.
My nephew was circumcised on Monday and I don’t know who the experience was more traumatic for, him, or the four adults surrounding him.
He and his parents got back from the hospital around 11 am and it was non-stop petting, feeding and bawling for the next two days. You see the baby in the picture above? Compared to my nephew, that one might as well be laughing. Every time the poor boy urinated, the whole neighborhood would vibrate with his crying. He suddenly seemed to be twice as loud as he usually is.
I used to act like the tough love uncle who would make sure he doesn’t get spoiled by my heart was torn by this one o. I couldn’t take it after a while and had to run to my room just so I wouldn’t see him in so much pain anymore.
You should have seen his father. He didn’t know whether to go or to come. He went out at some point to get some topical cream to ease the pain and he forgot his phone and took his wife’s own instead. Have you ever seen 4 confused adults and a baby in pain in action before? It’s not a pretty sight.
He couldn’t wear diapers for the next couple of days but I will spare you the details of what that led to. Those images will be hard enough for me to forget and now I smell baby poop even in my dreams. That and the sight of my sister feeding him without sending the fact that I am sitting right beside her. Nothing like being a nursing mother to make a woman forget that she’s spent her entire life hiding certain part of her body from the outside world.
That first night, there was a vigil and everybody took shifts watching little man because he simply could not sleep 15 minutes without bawling in pain. We had to force his mom to rest all night though. She was knackered and her nerves were shot. A mother having to see her child in so much pain can be traumatic. Thankfully she slept all night (I’m convinced her husband slipped something into her tea).
We thank God sha. It’s Thursday and he’s going much much better but now I’m rethinking the number of boys I want to have with my future wife. This circumcision thing is not a beans somtin.
Thank God babies have short memories. Imagine remembering that kind of pain your entire life?
Respect to Abraham and his people o. They were mostly adults when that had their own circumcision done and I have heard that Abraham might have done his own himself. That man must be the buffest man that ever lived. Like seriously, all beard and muscles.
Dear future wife, don’t blame me if we have mostly girls. It’s my subconscious telling Y chromosomes to behave themselves. I kid.